why the car smells like a dead person

I love the car. The ford escort. little, grey, well behaved, cheap to
fix car. It is a five speed and is actually fun to drive. Well until the
day. The shopping day.

Kroger seems like an okay place to shop. Relatively cheap, easy to
navigate, as polite as any other store. So I shopped like normal. I put
all the groceries in the car (sweet little grey car) and drove home. The
inverse occurs when I get home. I unpack the groceries out of the car.
It seems however that the milk is suddenly much lighter than it used to
be. The seal popped and now, in the docile, domesticated little ford
escort, there is almost a gallon of milk absorbed into the back seat.

Hummm....

So my first thought was to try lysol. In theory (form my micro class)
the reson milk will smell is that bacteria in the milk start growing and
breaking the milk down. In theroy, I kill the bugs and the car won't
smell. So over a gallon of lysol also gets poured on the seat.

hmmmmm....

So within two days the car is an absolute demonic place of residence. The
milk of course smells to high heaven, yet now it is tempered with a
disgutsing sickening sweet, vomit like lysol odor. It is, of course,
Summer in Texas, so with the windows rolled up, the car becomes a little
bacterial oven, further comingling the fine, delicate smells to a
horrifying extent.


After the fourth day I start leaving the windows rolled down, to at least
dissapate the baking. Now in the morning when I come outside I realize
multiple, huge, hairy flies have taken up residence in the escort. They
know that somewhere there is a plethora of nurishment buried in the seats.
I never saw any fly children as I guess they couldn't penetrate the high
quality foam ford uses.

yuck.

On about the fifth day I went for the carpet cleaning approach. I bought
mountain berry smelly foam carpet cleaner and two bottles of extra
strength febreze. What a fine blend I have created. On the finest of
purfume palettes could now pick out the true origins of the filthy, vile
stench that pervades the poor undeserving escort.

All this time, I have to still use the car for transportation, so me and
dumpling keep gallevating around in the stench home of demons. I think it
was the carpet cleaner that finally broke him out in hives. Big quarter
size whelps all over his legs and thighs. So we took a few days off from
the demon mobile and bought some bendryl.

hmmmm...

So at this point I started focusing on maybe less covering of smell and
more absorption of smell. I bought six boxes of baking soda and dumped
them all over the car. Fine white powder all in the carpets of the
escort. It is possible that this did help some with the smell-at least
till I dumped a cup of coffee over in the passenger side floorboard.

Yummm....

Milk-lysol-mountain cranberry-febreeze-baking soda-coffee smell. All
cooked over slow oven raosting coals of the blasting Texas summer sun.

I finally resorted to taking the car to get the carpets vacuumed. I
watched as the mexican guy cleaning the car starts pulling all the other
car wash guys over to my car to show them what hell truly is. They
laughed-for about ten minutes they laughed.


So the car was a bit cleaner but the smell lingered on. For the next four
yers it lingered. By the second year it was only really bad during the
summer. Now you hardly notice it unless it has set closed up for a long
time in the sun. A faint odor drifts past your nostrils. One that makes
the sulferous fumes of hell seem pleasent. Or it could be that the ever
worsening exhaust leak in the manifold dilutes the milk smell out. My
husband said that upon getting another vehicle to drive my son's and my IQ
should raise significantly as our brains recover from the exhaust fumes.
I don't know-is IQ really worth the rotten milk smell?

hmmmmmm.....