job hunting is so depressing. Interview in Dallas went very well. Lunch in Austin went well, however temp agency lady is sort of hopeless. A month in advance I schedule the interview, and two days before she cancels. She then rescedules for four days off, only to never give me a time/place/paperwork. I drove to austin but it turns out she was in sanantonio. She didn't return my calls and I finally called her only to have her say "can we schedule a phone interview?" I could have done that without driving 1900 miles. Seriously. Now back at work with no definite prospects in the future. I picked a terrible time to job hunt. All the BS students just left school and are job hunting leaving me quite unemployed.
On to happier thoughts. Started meditating again yesterday. It really helps to quench the flow of thoughts that rip through my silly noggin all the time. I was so tired yesterday that I think I was really sleeping sitting up but all the same, it counts as trying.
I have been thinking a lot about the point of meditation. It seems to be developing "one pointed focus" What does that really mean? I think, it may be to utterly stop, quench, supress, the "flow of conciousness" . I recently read part of a text on conciousness by a prof in England. She did her PhD in ESP research and realized it was a bit unrealistic and now teaches courses on the nature of conciousness.
It made me think back on what is conciousness. Conciousness seems to be the flow of information/sensory/past experiences through our working memory. We sense it as a continous run of thoughts and ideas that are convuluted. merge. processed and mulled over. I guess our working memory either is or is next door to the "chalkboard" where all the chewing occurs.
The aim of meditation seems to be to empty the chalkboard/working memory. A blank slate. A blissful empty canvas. It is nature's abhorrence of a vacuum that makes our mind fill that space the second it empties. Meditation is hard becuase we are supressing our mind's desire to fill the gap.
