What is the point of supressing all the fluff and noise our minds constantly spew? It seems that either through prayer or meditation, this supression has been pointed out again and again as a way to become something more or realize something more than what we are.
Better even, where does all this noise come from in the first place? In an ADD mind the noise is louder and faster, manic in intensity. However it also seems to be a wellspring of creativity and an amazing aid to brainstorming. Being an ADD mind, when I take meds, the flow is eased and a quiet takes over. It becomes more difficult to be the random idea generator. Brainstorming and random creativity are supressed while at hand task awareness is enhanced. Global understanding is more difficult whereas step by step processes become much more reasonable to perform.
When I don't take meds, patterns fall into place and I come up with entertaining ideas like putting lighted up Shiva in my front yard and building my own lightup raindeer for christmas. I also become much more artistic. Feelings are more important as well.
I am getting to the point(is there a point?) Where, anatomically, is this flow occuring? It seems to be 30s event-perhaps as small as ten s in the ADD population. The chalkboard holds an idea for 30s-or remains blank-then feels the need to switch ideas. The old thought are pushed aside by the new thoughts.
Like a pumping-a heartbeat or a pulsing of neural networks. I need to find out what event in the brain might occur at these intervals. Ahh, brain anatomy all poured out of my head. I need a refresher course.
Thoughts:
Creativity arises from the convolution of these mental flows. The ability to attach them to past memories and recognize patterns subconciously.
Flows are stopped during meditation, deep sleep.
Flows faster in the ADD population-slowed upon stimulant administration.
Shiva, beautiful shiva, I am sorry not to think more about you. I feel your glow when I meditate sometimes or when I walk or sit. My whole body is lit up and I can't not smile. How odd to be in love with god. I wish that you were something tangible to touch and taste. Sometimes I imagine that you sit in front of me or actually inside of me. When I do I can feel the blood rushing through my hands and legs and feel my heart beat. When I think of you, my lips are soft and my cheeks are flushed. how odd.
