I felt the need to post this somewhere. It was utterly bizarre.
On christmas day I found I could enter a Ti state. An NeTi state? I dunno... I could do so by looking to the upper right, then dropping my eyes and linking them into one focal point. Very quickly my mind developed a concerted focal point. Things outside of this point were disregarded as irrelevant.
I spent all day this way. I had more fun with my XSTP in-laws than I ever have before. It felt cutting and mean but amazingly in tune with them. I could cut back at them as sharply as they could cut towards me. It was amazing fun.
My mom called in the evening and emo dumped towards me. My reaction-instead of sadness-I felt extreme annoyance that she would dump her emotions towards me. She should have delivered the message in a way to gently ease it to me, and instead used it as a way to emotionally manipulate me.
Things of note-a sense of isolated excellence. The assumption that of course I know what I am doing and of course I am excellent at it. Fuck the other. If they disagree who gives a fuck as they are irrelevant. A sense of arrogance, disdain towards external opinion.
My thoughts felt isolated and individualized. I am alone with them and how can you even begin to think you could appreciate or understand them, let alone replicate them. In the past every ENTP user I have ever spoken to laid charges of presumptious upon me trying to understand their minds. Now I know why.
It feels so individual. selfish, isolated, individualized.
Yesterday evening the strangest thing happened. I laid down to go to sleep and told my son a story about deers a forrest, flowers. As I closed my eyes, I felt the strangest sensation.
I felt a very distinct sense of "OTHER" in my mind. Like someone else was knocking on the backdoor of my mind and they were not pleased. Specifically the back right corner of my head. Distinctly unhappy to say the least. A distinct feeling of external influence. It felt so real, and they almost spoke. I shut down the sensation before they could speak. However it was a woman's voice and she said "You are ignoring me". I totally freaked out. It felt like a very dominant strong woman.
At this point I got out of bed, then took a shower, and consciously tried to extend/relax to Ti of my mind into the area of Fi.
The sensation of having a split body-left vs right was very strong.
So to go from ENFP to INFJ takes work and effort.
To go from ENFP to ENTP took far less work-but twisted my brain into very strange places and introduced a personality fight.
