Today I busted out my car window. Not is some cool way like a fit of rage or an expression of disgust. More like an idiotic way. I went to rent a playstation game for dumpling and I locked my keys in the car. So normal for me. I stood outside the car, not even mad. I mean I do this so incredibly often-if it's not keys it is a hundred other stupid things-I don't even get pissed anymore. It is actually pretty funny. So I stood there with little dumpling, who insisted that a stick could be plugged in the keyhole, and stared remorsefully at the keys.
The lady from the pizza place next to the movie store saw me and said that one of her drivers might be able to help. He tried a bit with a hanger but it seems that Ford is intent on only letting car theifs with slim jims actually rob my stupid escort. A few times it almost looked like it would pop up but then it wouldn't. Damn. So at this point I started going back around the back of the car, looking for alternative entry points. We don't have triple A and I (classically) didn't want to wait for a tow truck to show up and then charge me fifty bucks or more for a five second task. I am so cheap.
So I start prying at the back window. In an escort it is like a triangle that points backwards away from the drivers seat and is held in place by a latch. I thought if I could get the window open I might be able to slide my arm through and unlock the door. As I tugged at it the whole window shattered outwards all over me. It just exploded. I got a couple of nicks on my fingers but they didn't hurt at all. The pizza guy just looked at me. There are those moments in life when you can tell what people are thinking . He was thinking "what a nut". I just started laughing. Shit, I mean at least I won't be locking my keys in the car anytime soon!
The car is a big piece of crap (I love you escort!) with 200K miles and this odd smell resulting from a run in it had with a gallon of milk several years back. One door hangs crooked and the dash lights work as a function of temperature and number of bumps encountered on the road. The winter before last the connection from the blower to the heater(?) went out and I had no blower for several months thus no heater. One day I hit a bump and it just started working again. The air conditioner amazingly still works but causes the car to die almost as soon as you turn it on. On long trips (ie 10 miles) the throttle tends to stick and in the summer it overheats in traffic. Nothing like it being 108 F and having the heater on. The amazing moment was realizing that the air outside was hotter than the air from the heater. All in all however it has been a good, loving little car. bought cheap and driven long and it just keeps going. I, of all people should have killed the car long ago, however it has never deserted me. We have a really nice Odessey, but I get the old escort.
As for the window it likely won't get fixed. We will be relocating soon and what is the point of dragging the poor thing halfway across the country. I was going to try and donate it to some poor mum in need but I am afraid by the time we leave there won't be much left of it.
Perhaps we can put my PC inside of it and douse it all with gasoline and have a bonfire. Invite all the neighbors over.
